On the morning of October 7, I just knew that the week ahead is not going to be easy. With lots of work to be done, I had two mid-terms scheduled on consecutive days, Looking forward for the fall break that follows all the chaos, I got through each of them with minimal embarrassment and I was just beginning to feel calm , when I was looking at the mail when,
The Serpent Prince, a Swedish Legend
caught my eye. It was part of UDLS being organised by the SAC. I expected it to be just another storytelling session and showed up anyway since I had nothing better to do. I was surprised when it turned out to be a fun event with illustrations being created by the participants with crayons on the spot followed by a narration of the story and pizza. It was a fascinating tale with really imaginative illustrations. I got to join my room mate and his super-cool buddies during dinner, where the band was playing for the entertainment. It was a fun night!! :)
It was Tuesday and after lots of cleaning and rest, I just wanted to get the hell out, while I can. Fall break certainly wasn’t gonna last! Jordon Commons , Sandy didn’t seem that far and off I went to catch ‘Gravity’ in the IMAX 3D. Adding to the fact that the movie was good, I discovered I like Crepe!! After visiting about 3 shops and managing to get a jacket, missed the last bus and walked through cold deserted streets with suspicious eyes on each passerby, with my guard up all the while and reached home in time and safe for my relief. I needed some rest!
It was Friday already and I knew that the Fall break is over. I just have this one trip to Draper,for which I was looking forward. Missing another good trip with my friends on the same day didn’t help my unease. At-least, I have always enjoyed the train ride! When I reached my destination It was slightly different than what I had in my mind. It was a cool place with a cool view of the mountains too. I just love the mountains!!(atleast the sight of it :) ). After my business there and some good food I had to return back and it was exhausting. Travelling could be fun, but it sure does tire me out!!
Guess I couldn’t have had a better Fall break !! Hoping for the best of times ahead!!.
Yup!! Back to being a student and can’t help but feel good about it. With volumes of work piled up ,but very little time to afford for each of them , i would say that its far better than to not have nothing much to work on. For deadlines follow each other like every sunday follows the other ,I am beginning to wonder if the entire Masters program could just end just as fast.
Studying in a new country with your classmates belonging to different countries of the world, as opposed to the different states in India has a huge impact. It doesn’t get any easier when your classmate has really good /bad English pronunciation. It certainly doesn’t help if your professor asks you to complete a sentence of your classmate you have no idea in what language it was.!!
Having been casual greeted by every casual passer-by with supposedly no-need-to-answer questions , learning to greet and be courteous every second of your minute out walking ,trying really hard to blend in to avoid looking like a noob can be few of the things anyone might face I guess. Forget about trying to get your acquaintance to pronounce your name!! Wishing you could have a simpler name like Tom and wondering about what-the-hell your class mates are discussing about and googling with some word you could make out from their discussions to get some idea of what they are talking about-i just greet myself , “welcome to USA”. Too bad i didn’t travel across the world and too bad i didn’t learn about every state in the US -often the after thought of casual exchange encounters.
Nevertheless, things don’t look interesting when they are just too easy, do they.. ? And , I like every challenge i get!! Bring it on!!
Good one :)
Originally posted on Cristian Mihai:
“We are the prisoners of our own ideals. We have to follow a strict pattern, a set of rules and laws, and play the role society designed for us. We are taught that our choices don’t matter, that at best we are insignificant, and at worst we are invisible, shadowy figures wandering around a desolate landscape filled with rigid concrete boxes and bleak lights shivering in the night. I guess that what I’m really trying to say is that our freedom is limited only by what we believe to be the perception others have about us. ” – Jazz
I’m not an overly ambitious man. I’m not particularly good at most things. I’m rather a pessimist, who happens to have a few moments of idealism. I think I’m too small to change the world around me, and yet this doesn’t stop me from trying.
And I see this kind of thinking…
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It was getting really late when I had all those things I need to do, before I set off. I thought I had lots of time, but I was wrong. I was to start to Chennai in the morning with less than 7 hours left . It was a 6 hour journey from Tirupur. I packed up my stuff, enough of it considering the weight limitation enforced and I was very very anxious!! Once I was done with packing, I tried to make sure if I packed everything, but it was a mistake. I couldn’t easily locate what I was looking for, although I was sure I put it in there somewhere!!! Oh Man, I couldn’t seem to remember anything. I was just glad that my mom was there with me, helping me, guiding me, giving me a shoulder to rest on those crazy times. And my dad too, making sure that I finished packing all the stuff I needed. Truly, I have no idea what I would have done without their help.
With unexpected surprises at the Chennai International airport, I finally began my long journey , with couple of hours delay. While aboard the flight and staring at the dark sky It was then that implications of the journey sank into me. It was oddly frightening, but nothing unmanageable. I would be lying if I didn’t say that I was scared to leave everything behind. But the weariness put me to sleep. I needed rest and I had plenty of time. And i said to myself: ” Here it goes!! ”
Missing flights consequently, in Frankfurt and in Washington Dulles, I was struck in San Francisco International Airport , in gate 72 for 6 hours in the early hours of 7th August. Finally Reached Salt Lake City at 1030 and I was picked up and hosted by ISA for more than a week. With lots of fun and laughter,(also, I was called a ‘smartA**’ , sarchastically!!!?? WTH ??? ) , along with ever caring and friendly hosts and my new friends, it was lot of fun and definitely memorable part of my journey..
It has been just about 15 days since I arrived and I have made new friends, enjoyed the splendid view of the mountains from literally everywhere!! , enjoyed the magnificent view of the canyons and the cold!!( Thanks for the warning, Guru!!), ate my first Cheesecake from Cheese Cake Factory (btw, very yummmmy :) ) , met lot of interesting people from several parts of the world( Serbia, Bulgaria, Mexico,etc at a BBQ) ,found a small apartment and settled myself in it( almost ), free Pizzas-Coke-movie night sponsored by the school every friday(so far), have walked late at night listening to my favorite songs and got completely wet by the sprinklers!,amazed at the buses here that could be lowered to help an elderly getting down from the bus,and lots and lots of cars, everywhere. With much more expectations, looking ahead for the semester to begin.
For few , the title is self explanatory . The sense of in-security is often felt by lot of people and is more prevalent during the teens and early twenties; after that , people just learn to deal with it I guess. So let’s examine this small yet trivial issue. In any form of a relationship where one gives a damn about the other , some one could develop a sense of insecurity due to variety of reasons. It could be the distance . It could be their own nature. It could be circumstances . it could even happen because of envy .
Be whatever may the reason , when such a condition develops , expectations out of the relationship rise up. Attention to trivial details become vital and sometimes , the ones you care about cannot be all that you want them to be. What happens then in the relationship decides the fate of it. Some bonds bound by blood endure the cataclysms but others don’t. Be that as it may , I have always wondered how to get over feeling insecure..
Besides reminding ourselves that our worst fears when insecure cannot be true , the only other better way is to stop thinking about it and focus on something else in life. But this is something that guys can be better at than girls can be, I guess. True control of your heart comes by treating it like a child. By saying ‘things will be OK’ , couple of times , one can actually feel better. The trick in dealing with insecurity lies in it as well. Being immersed in another activity that completely gains our attention is yet another way to feel better .And when one feels better , sense of insecurity starts to fade away. If the other’s action is the reason for the sense of insecurity, confrontation is never always the right solution.
Our sense of insecurity often rises from our primal instinct of survival. Our instincts’ perception of a threat in a relationship that we value so dearly, often springs up in the form of insecurity. Sometimes circumstances could merely trigger such an emotional state while other times, it often happens when the other gives up on the bond they share. With patience and support, it is easier to get through the sense of insecurity that arises from the earlier cause than the latter one, for apparent reasons. when someone gives up on the bond they share, be it for simpler reasons, or complicated , rather than confrontation , space and time has a better chance of getting back the bond. For things lost are better forgotten, than missed; And after who-knows-how-many years, it may present itself when the time is right.
To understand why it affects people, lets look at what being human is all about.
We as humans are social beings. We like being social. We do almost everything in the name of the society and to be accepted by it. It is this need that drives us to be more respectful of a valuable relationship. (Yes..No wonder Love stories are common themes accepted across the world across generations!!) However , when our social obligations take a sidestep to personal well-being, some one always gets hurt. And with Mother Nature enjoying her Game of Survival , designed quite sophisticated for humans , there is not much else we could do. The way things appear for a new born child has become quite similar to a new-born deer in wilderness. With the vile senses of animals etched deep within us, I have always wondered what being human is all about.What is that vital factor that separates us from the rest of them? If we are just like the savages in the wild , only with superior intelligence , is being human just a Nature’s way to make the Super-Animal?
But it is at such times, that I could listen to my heart-beat.It is what that sets us apart.Certainly not our heart-beat, but our heart.It is exactly that vital factor that makes us humans.
The ability to feel happiness or sadness or any emotion makes us better. But it has also made us vulnerable. There are millions of people who let themselves be driven by a singular emotion and lead a ruined life. I believe that one must master his emotions to understand his true potential. How best to master the emotion? I believe that being in equilibrium will make us the master of our emotions.Its what Master Shifu says ‘Inner Peace’. With happiness keeping sadness in check and with light keeping the darkness in check, its our heart and emotions that keep the animal in us, in check. For people who struggle to deal with pain and rather emotionally turn off risk losing their equilibrium and so, could never be at peace. While some people are in-sensitive to certain emotions because of their attitude/environment, some people are sensitive and it is vital to deal with them.
For love of God, lets not make our loved ones feel insecure. :)
1. Seriously ,trying to complete this post.!!
2.Knowing that the one you care about, be it friend/family is unhappy/sad and feeling helpless to do anything about it.
3.Saying goodbye to someone,exactly to whom you never wanted to !!
4. Clean your room, after more than a month, along with the bathroom and a little bit of kitchen.
5. Have laundry done(washing machine though :)) and the clothes drying up in the terrace and it rains almost immediately , for first time in months!!!!
6. Letting go of things, which don’t belong to me anymore!!!
Alas, I must go through every thing in the last couple of days. Nevertheless, I will go to bed, with a smile …
“Come on Monday, Let’s begin !!! :) “